Sometimes, when I think back to those distant days, I can’t help but feel an indescribable emotion in my heart. It was an interweaving of loneliness, pain and beauty. Our lives are like fallen leaves in the wind, which may be blown away by the wind at any time. However, even so, there is still some subtle warmth growing quietly in our hearts. That past has gradually blurred the boundaries, as if it was a dream, but the memories are clear and unforgettable.
Remember those years, with the sadness of the passing years. At that time, I always longed for a warmth that I couldn’t have, and wanted to find the tranquility hidden in the years from a corner. However, in this world, how many people really get what they want? Most people are just drifting in this ruthless rivers and lakes, with a little unwillingness and confusion, going further and further, until they finally don’t look back.
A seemingly simple encounter eventually became the ups and downs of life
That year, the summer when I met him didn’t seem special. The air was filled with haze, and the sunlight shone through the gray clouds, as weak as wiped glass. I remember that I didn’t think this encounter had any earth-shattering significance at that time, it was just an accidental passing by. I didn’t have much friendship with him, and I almost didn’t have the opportunity to say a word. It was just that he stood in a corner of the old street, like a strange traveler, and suddenly appeared in my sight.
I never thought that such an ordinary moment could change the trajectory of my life. Just like those influential figures in the rivers and lakes, their appearances never seemed to indicate that anything big was going to happen, but every time they made a move, their fate would have a new turn. We never know which person will be a passer-by in our lives, and which one will become a fetter that can never be separated.
Warmth and cruelty in the rivers and lakes
As time goes by, the warmth and cruelty of life always come alternately. In those years, we were busy every day in the small city where we lived, living a dull life that seemed to have no end. I remember that at that time we had almost nothing – no fulfilling work, no bright future, and even no home of our own. Just like those people in the rivers and lakes, carrying some unspoken secrets, hurriedly walking on the strange streets.
However, despite this, there was also a brief happiness at that time. Whenever the sun sets, we will meet with friends to sit in the old teahouse at the entrance of the alley. In the small house, there is a low aroma of tea, and there are several plates of vegetarian dishes on the table, which are simple but have the most real taste in the world. Everyone seems to have found a short-term belonging in this tiny space. We talked about family matters and insignificant things, and each other’s eyes were full of tenderness and understanding of life.
Unfortunately, life is always too hurried and too impermanent. The person who once spent countless days and nights with me later disappeared in my world. The distance between us was gradually pulled farther and farther by the years until there was no intersection. Those unspoken farewells, after all, are like a choice that cannot be turned back, and have become a part of our lives. I can only find his appearance at that time and the traces of those years in my memories.
The pain that has never been forgotten will eventually change everything
A person’s life is always bound by the past that cannot be turned back. No matter how we escape, the pain and regrets of the past always follow us. When I stood at the intersection where we once walked together, some of the pain in my heart became so clear, like a long-lost memory that suddenly became within reach. Pain seems to no longer be a thing of the past, but an innate fate. As time goes by, it becomes more and more difficult to get rid of.
I once thought that time would make everything blurry. However, it only makes everything deeper. Those things that were once lost seem to be engraved into the heart by time and become wounds that can never be healed. I think everyone has such a scar in their heart. It may be a lost lover or a dream that will never come back. We cannot resist its existence and can only silently bear the pain it brings at a certain moment in life.
Fear and hope for the future
If pain is a fate, then after the pain, perhaps what we can do is to find some tiny warmth and hope. Perhaps, our whole life will be wandering in this kind of panic and hope, we grope in pain and move forward in confusion. During that time, I always felt like a wandering loner, with no real place for myself in this world. Everything around me seemed to have never belonged to me.
However, perhaps it is this kind of pain that can make us stronger. We can find sunshine in the cracks of life, and we can also learn how to stand in the wind and rain. Those past pains will eventually shape our hearts and let us learn how to find our roots in a turbulent world.
Everyone has his own rivers and lakes in his life. There is warmth and cruelty in the rivers and lakes. Perhaps this is the truth of life: in countless separations and reunions, we have learned how to face our own fragility and strength. Those past separations and pains will not be easily forgotten, but they will eventually become a part of our lives and make our unique past.
In the storms of the world, we may have been lost and confused, but one day, we will find our own peace in our hearts, learn how to reconcile with our past selves, and move forward bravely on the road to the future.